Daft Dictionary (Microfax Jokes Books)

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I am writing a film script about going back in time to stop Hitler’s parents meeting at the Austrian Enchantment ‘Under The Sea’ dance. Maybe Hitler wouldn’t have been so grumpy if people hadn’t left him hanging for high fives all the time.

I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone. We think that while he's been watching films with the family, he's been making a note of the best innuendos he's found in kids film and TV, passing them off as his own.

just enjoying the views and the rolling hills, when suddenly she happened upon another blonde sitting in a boat in the middle of the field, pulling the oars like her life depended.

Here’s a tip for the new viewers: if the show starts with the pilots being interviewed… it will be a boring episode. They will give you something interesting to think about–and if you get them right, you’re going to feel like the smartest person in the room. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.

From knock-knock jokes to extra corny crackers, swat up on a few old favourites or share some as a few fun things to do with kids when there's nothing else to do. Yo Mamma’s so fat… that other people have to pay for the health consequences of this via general taxation, even though it’s her responsibility.

The tramline that goes up to knocke-heist is guarded most of the way up, and dualled, so this might be a rarely used bit of track. Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day. If you spell “sit in the tub” as s-o-a-k, and you spell “a funny story” as j-o-k-e, how do you spell “the white of an egg”?

That photo was taken in Adinkerke, Belgium (where people used to go for cheap cigarettes and tobacco). One hour because the first pill is taken right away, the second comes a half-hour later and the last comes after another half-hour. If you don’t know what Morris dancing is, imagine eight guys from the KKK got lost, ended up at gay pride and just tried to style it out.

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road.I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning ‘Are we then yet? I learned about method acting at drama school, when all my classmates stayed in character as posh, patronising twats for the entire three years I was there. We’ve put together a rather epic list of some of the best jokes and one-liners that have had audiences giggling in the Scottish capital over recent years. There are three important rooms in a house; one is filled with money, another with important files, and the last with jewelry.